Healed To Stay Bound Or Be Free

As I ponder about life and death I often wonder how different it would have been if the first parents didn't rebel against the Father and listen to the evil one. I don't have too many complaints about living life as long as it can go the way I hope it should be, or want it to be. Unfortunately, as the years go on, I came to realize that it is not always my desires or needs that matter.

There is this one thing in life that I can't deal really well with. This is the issue of death. Coming from a third world country and having been in the medical field, seeing dead people or people dying was a common thing to me. However, when the death is one of your family members, acquaintances or close friends, there is this emotional toll that is immeasurable. Often even a well known leader's death can bring a void, an apprehension unable to comprehend or send us on a quest to try to understand death. I remember the tears shed for Lady Diana, President Reagan, a few Christian leaders among others, when they passed away a few years ago. Did I know them? No! Why then this sense of loss? Why the tears?

What bothers me the most is that I always pray for God to show His mighty healing power to touch and heal the people I know. Since I know of His promises about hearing the prayers of His children, His promises of answering the prayers of those searching Him with a pure heart, and also the fact that He has answered my prayers so many times before about other things, I always feel that He has let me down when someone dies (2 Chronicle 16:9; Hebrew 11:6; Psalm 34:15, 17). However, I know He hasn't! Death caused by diseases also bothers me greatly because I understand that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and that diseases, sickness should have no part in our lives. Our creator says that we are the redeemed and the healed of the Lord. The curse of the law no longer has power over us because of the blood of Jesus. Hallelujah! What then is wrong?

When someone dies I am also tormented by these nagging thoughts that maybe I didn't' pray enough, maybe I had unbelief in my heart, maybe I was double-minded, maybe I didn't have enough faith. All these thoughts seemed to cause the pain to be worse. Often I have found myself fighting against the will of the dying because I have the tendency to think that I am to imitate the ministry of Jesus to heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead etc. Since we have been given all authority over the enemy, my soul is crying, where are the manifestations of the greater works than His that He promised that we, His believers, will be doing? I think I need to learn to accept peacefully the fact that God's will is also manifested, especially when a Saint dies.

How do we deal with this unknown called death or the process of dying? How do we reconcile the feelings of hurt and loss when someone dear to us die? I know that we are all going to die one day. The issue is in my mind where I like to think that anytime someone dies around ninety years old is fine. I've accustomed myself to a certain mindset that if someone is getting very old and really sick, or is so incapacitated physically, mentally and doesn't have hope to ever become a productive citizen, it was OK to go home. This was the case for my dad who passed away around eighty years old after a bout with prostate cancer, and my last born who wasn't promised a productive or healthy life if he were to have a long life on earth. But I don't take quite well the fact that a seemingly healthy infant, a young child, a young adult can be suffering from a sudden illness or involved in an accident leading to death. Aren't we often hoping that no one should go before a certain age until accomplishments are made and the fruits of a productive and fulfilling life be manifested. I guess we see life through our own magnifier of our dreams, needs and wants.

After the death of my child the Lord started changing my attitude about seeing death in a whole different way. I came to realize and accept that a Saint's death is not a loss after all. John 12:24 states “unless a kernel of wheat fall to the ground and die, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” As we walk with the Lord we learn to see and accept fully that in everything there is a season such as for example, a time to be born and a time to die. Since our days have been established from the beginning of the world, and that the plans and ways of God are unsearchable, we must learn to allow the will of the Father to be in our lives and others.

Also the Teacher has shown me some of the positive fruits, some of the seeds produced by an unwanted death. What I can see is that (1) the death of a family member or friends have the tendency to bring closeness and heal past hurt among the family members and friends; (2) the hurt of losing a loved one often drives people closer to God in search of a purpose for life; (3) one often starts realizing the great purpose of life and understand why he/she is still living by accepting God's call in the person's life; (4) it also brings one closer to God and provides a sense of peace when one knows that one's loved one is with God and isn't suffering anymore; (5) at last death increases the desire in our heart for the Kingdom of God to be manifested fully on earth so that all evil can cease.

Of course we all want our friends and family members to be with us forever. But if we do how then would they go through the valley of the shadow of death promised in the Word of God and have Him with them as the guiding Shepherd? Also if they are ill of an incurable disease that the Lord has allowed them to go through, would we want them to be on earth in that physical state forever if healing wasn't manifested? I guess that once we firmly and strongly realize that it is OK to die physically when we belong to the Lord, we will be at peace with the process of dying and the concept of death.

Realizing that our loved ones live in our heart and soul and that one day we will all be reunited with the Guardian of our souls will bring peace. Glory to God! Being absent in the body is to be present with the Lord. The Lord knows the end from the beginning, and knows the end of all things. Let's keep our minds focus on Him and never forget that the death of a Saint is precious in the eyes of the Lord (Psalm 116:15).

Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and obey it! (Luke 11:28)

Marie Monaus