Why Are You Troubled My Soul?

Have you ever asked the Lord for something--whether it is a spouse, house, job, car, children, anything--receive whatever you asked for, to realize later on that this is not surely what you wanted or expected? At times, you may have not even consulted God first, but as you were getting the desires of your heart your own way, did you feel fully content? When you are tired of your house chores, children, spouse, work, church, the demands of friends and life, etc. what do you do? When you got yourself in debt because of your lust, got sick because you ate the wrong thing, or got sick without knowing the cause, who do you call onto? What do you do when everything seems to go the wrong way when you haven't done anything wrong at all? What do you do when you have wrong thoughts coming at you--do you even wonder where they came from? What do you do when people resent and belittle you? What do you do when you feel prejudiced?

We can find ourselves in all types of situation where we need an answer, where we need help. My question to you is: who, what, and where is your punching bag? I have found my Lord and Savior Jesus to be my own punching bag. How many times have I found myself going to Him looking for help, blaming Him for things happening in my life beyond my control, telling Him what I want, blaming him for my own wrong choices, dictating to Him my orders, or even arguing with Him.

One day after much grumbling, complaining and murmuring it suddenly dropped into my spirit that I have just grieved the loving Savior. Then I had to sit down, analyze myself and remember all His goodness towards me and all His promises. Didn't he say that in this life we will have tribulations, but be of good cheer I have overcome the world. Didn't He say that many are the afflictions of the righteous, but He delivers them out of them all? Didn't the Holy Father say not to worry about anything? Didn't He say to let each day trouble be sufficient for that day (Mathew 6:34)?

When the circumstances around me are so suffocating, and I am weary under the weight, I hear in my soul, I didn't give you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. When I cry to Him that I'm so tired and can't take it anymore, I hear, “my strength is sufficient for you for my power is made stronger in weakness.” When I say that I am feeling so lonely, He says, “Fear not, I am with you always. I will never leave you nor forsake you.” When I don't know what to do and feel stressed out, I hear in my spirit “I'll keep him in perfect peace Him/Her whose mind is stayed on me, because he/she trusts in me” (2 Timothy 1:7; Isaiah 26:3; 2 Corinthians 12:9; Hebrews 13:5).

Why do we have a tendency to focus on the negative, be frustrated and impatient? We surely shouldn't have to worry about anything—myself specially. When looking in my closet, I can see that I have too many shoes and clothes for one day. When looking in my kitchen cabinets, I have too many cans of emergency food, crackers, preserves for one day. I also have too much milk, juice, bread for my whole family for one day in my refrigerator. Moreover, when thinking about third world country people, I am living as a queen. When thinking about the fate of other Christians in countries where freedom of religion is denied, where they are harassed and tortured often to death, who do I think I am that I can't suffer a little bit. As Paul said, I haven't even suffer unto death yet.

But gracious goodness, what a joy, peace and freedom to know that Dear Jesus listens to the prayers of the righteous, answers them, and is always willing to help. Do you know that He listens to you, comforts you, loves you, and turns everything in your life on earth for your good. Are you grateful that He doesn't look at your impatience, tone of voice, selfishness, evil ways, mindset, pettiness etc, to finally decide to eradicate you from the face of the earth. Are you full of love and joy because He chose to make you like Him? Do you understand and accept with gratitude the gift at Calvary? Do you have the desire and the fire in your heart to serve Him without reserve and shame? Can you thank, proclaim, and praise Him in the middle of your uncertainties and issues?

If you can't answer positively to those questions, ask Him to reveal Himself to you and revive your soul. I wish I could say that I'm completely free of murmuring and complaining. I'm learning to take life one moment at a time and bring all my cares to the Holy Father. Do you know what He says about you? You have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that you should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever you shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you (John 15:16). Are you ready to bear much fruits? As for me I'll never stop to praise Him, thank Him, and proclaim His love for me.

Blessed are those who hear the Word of God and obey it! (Luke 11:28)

Marie Monaus